Run, Run, Rudolph

Apparently I missed the memo about dressing Tyler up for Christmas. This is getting out of control.

Ka-Chow!

Someone warn the Hudson Hornett, Lightning McQueen is on the loose again...

Is It Labor Day?

Excuse me, ma'am. It is currently December 2009 - please put your summer dresses in the bins that you were storing your winter clothes in and your white cowboy boots back in 1984. Thanks!

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed....Dodge Ram??

So, as you can see here - there are antlers rubber-snubbed onto the grill guard and a red cup shoved into the front of it. At first, Banana and I couldn't figure it all out, we were wondering if this was just the most convenient place to store their cup in case they happened upon a keg party. But, after further review, we determined that it was, in fact, Rudolph.

What you probably can't see is that there is Christmas tinsel duct taped onto the hubcaps. Truly a classy move.

And isn't it fitting for this fine display of Christmas cheer to be parking in front of the Wal-Mart?

It's like people are posing for this blog...

Thanks for the submission, Whit!

All The Single Ladies

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this guy doesn't have a girlfriend.

A Slight Twist

Shout out to O'Connor for submitting this photo!

Opposite of the other people who appear on this blog, the person who drove their Rascal to the market and parked in the handicap spot is immune from ever getting a punch in the face.

Well played, sir. Well played.

Excuse Me, Sir, Could You Press the Button For Me?

There are really no words.

But I will think twice before drinking out of a drinking fountain again.

If You Have to Advertise It...

I am not opposed to personalized license plates. Especially clever ones. However, this is not clever and it is not cute. And really, sexy lips? Give me a break. It reminds me of the picture that started this blog - if you have to put it on your car, there may be a problem...

Halloween?

The only explanation that I can come up with for this (and it certainly isn't a reasonable one) is that she dressed as a rooster for Halloween and got a little too into it.

Or else she has no friends or family and a blind hairstylist. 

Because surely someone would tell her that this look is not good on anyone!

Oversize Load?

Sir, this would not be an oversize load if you would have put the pop-out back in before embarking on your adventure.

The Definition of Luv!

I knew that Southwest Airlines and I were meant for each other! Thanks, La Ranchita, for the submission!

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Now I'm sure that none of you need me to tell you what is wrong here, but I will anyway.

First of all, my SIL visited Arkansas for a work event and encountered these nice young ladies during her time there.

Above you will find a VERY classy girl who has decided that she couldn't properly see what was happening on stage from her spot on the ground, so she had to climb onto her boyfriend's shoulders and display, for everyone behind her, the mostly over-played butterfly tramp stamp.

Below, you will find a girl that took "Gone Country" a little too far. To begin with, she is wearing a plaid shirt, belted at the waist, with cowboy boots. I am trying to determine if she has a pair of white shorty-shorts under that shirt - not that it would make it ok, but then at least she wouldn't be on the verge of showing everyone her private parts. I have recently decided that a true country girl can get away with wearing cowboy boots with a cute skirt or dress. However, I do not believe now, nor will I ever, that it is acceptable to wear cowboy boots with shorts. Especially if I am not sure if you are wearing shorts.

Reader Submissions

My sister-in-law submitted some photos for the blog recently and it occurred to me that you all may be encountering folks in your world that need a punch in the face. So I thought I would give you the opportunity to submit your photos.

If you have a photo, please submit it to makeafist@live.com. Include in your email any pertinent information about the location and setting.

Buckin' Bronco

One of the things that makes me most crazy in this world is when a person walks around doing daily activities with the spurs still on their boots. It really isn't that hard to get them on and off of your shoes, and if you think it is, go ahead and just get another pair of boots so that you can change them once you put your horse back in its stall.

Considering that there was no horse tied to a hitching pole outside of Chipotle, I'm going to say that this guy didn't ride his bucking horse to pick up dinner. Therefore, he deserves a punch square in the face!

Move, Bitch.

In case you can't see what is going on in this picture. This car is in the right lane at a red light, not turning right.

It kind of makes me wish that I could stop time, get out of my car, beat the driver up, get back in, and restart time.

If, by chance, you are the person behind this car wanting to turn right. You should get into the left lane and turn in front of them. But make sure you give them your angriest face as you pass.

Duck Hunt

I hope that the purpose of this sign was to allow hunters time to get their guns ready.

If not, someone needs a punch in the face!

This Is Why I'm Hot

I was out in Cave Creek the other night for work. That whole town is like a step back in time. And holy Hannah, the number of fake cowboys is out of control!!

But this lady won the prize.

First of all, the Native American design on the front of that shirt is AWESOME! Then she took it a step further by cutting the bottom and sleeves and stringing large plastic beads from them, creating a sound effect that will make you want to rip your ears off. And yes, she belted it.

So pretty...

Seriously?

Ok, really? The amount of money that people are spending on their pets is ridiculous! Seriously - if you have the money to take your pet to the animal dermatologist, I am willing to take some of it off of your hands!

There are really no other words...

Wrong Way, Idiot!

Nothing makes me crazier than people who pull into this gas station the wrong way! First of all, there are GIANT signs (shown above) that let you know that you should not enter. Second, the hoses of the gas pumps are long enough that if you pulled in the right way and your gas tank was on the other side, it would reach. I know this for a fact as I have done it.

So, as you can see, this girl made me crazy right off the bat. Then, she got out of her car, AT THE GAS STATION, with no shoes on. Now I'm not Diddy-Crazy about the no-shoes policy. But let's be reasonable here.

Pop A Cap

Let's start from the beginning. This is a gold high heel, in which the heel is in the form of a pistol. So the people who deserve a punch in the face for this product are as follows:

1. The person who drew up the original design.
2. The person who approved it.
3. The company who manufactured it.
4. The company who hired the purchasing agent who ordered it.
5. The store the displayed it.
6. Any person who buys it.

Seriously, folks, do I need to tell you all of the things that are wrong here? I didn't think so.

Football, Football, Hey!

I went to the Cardinals football game a couple of weeks ago and I found some examples of people who need to be punched in the face. Bad.

Seriously, who does this woman's hair? This is the worst set of "low-lights" I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure that neither of these are her natural color.

Both this woman and the person who does her hair need to be punched in the face.

And you can't really see her nails, but her nail tech should also be punched in the face!

This is the definition of White Trash!

Ok - you can't see it in the picture, but this is a Reebok halter top. And basketball shorts.

First of all, the people at Reebok should be punched in the face for making a halter top. When does anyone need an athletic halter top?

Second of all, this woman should be punched in the face for not wearing a bra with it.

And then pairing it with basketball shorts? Seriously? Seriously?

For the record, girls should never wear these shorts - they aren't attractive.

I-8 and the RB man

Recently while driving on Interstate 8 between Dateland and Gila Bend we drove past a man who was probably 250 pounds, wearing an orange reflective vest and a camelBak on the side of the road. What was he doing you ask? Oddly enough he was slowly rollerblading. I wanted a picture so badly to show you but unfortunately as he navigated around rocks, blown out tires and rumble strips we breezed by at 80mph. What got my attention to even notice him was the trailer car that was following him...the little construction orange light on the back of the hyundai suv caught my eye just quickly enough to see this man awkwardly attempting a RB trip across America or Arizona. I do wonder why he was doing it, it was 115 degrees for sure and did not look like fun. I was hoping to find him on the internet and the reasoning behind this trip like raising money for cancer or something like that. If that is the case the debate will still be on if he deserves a punch in the face or not...however if this is for Ripley's or pride a punch shall be given.

Birds...

I don't know if you can see it - but in the back seat of this car is a bird in its cage. I don't think you need me to tell you why these people are on this blog.

However, you may need me to tell you that if you have a bird as a pet, you need to be punched in the face! Birds are dirty, nasty creatures that are lucky I allow them to live in nature. In my house? Now that would be insanity.

Are You Feeling Purple?

There are a lot of people who should be punched in the face for this:

1. The person who made those purple pants. Even on a girl they would be unacceptable.
2. The shopper who purchased the pants to sell in their store.
3. The mother who bought these for her son. Then let him wear them with matching shoes to the grocery store today.
4. The kid who put them on.

Honestly, people.

1982 Called

As if it isn't bad enough that she put her hair in a side pony - she used 5000 bobby pins to secure it.

(Sidenote: it is ok to wear a side pony when attending a Journey/Heart concert or any other 80s concert.)

A Guest Author!

Dear Readers,

As there are times when I get very busy and can not always share with you the millions of people in the world who need to be punched in the face, I have invited a guest author to join me in this endeavor.

Please welcome, un platano. She may not be as funny as I am, but she will post pictures and commentary. Treat her well!

Love,
Airplane

Another List

I am really slacking on the picture taking for this blog, but I have encountered a number of people who need to be punched in the face recently and it would be rude of me not to share.

1. Anyone who drinks White Russians. No explanation needed.

2. Girls who wear red cowboy boots thinking that it is cool. If you think you are a real cowgirl, DO NOT EVER put a pair of red cowboy boots on past the age of like nine. And whatever you do - do not lift them onto the dinner table to show everyone!

3. The women who sat behind me at Wicked yesterday and thought that they were at a sporting event. Literally, the one woman would whistle randomly in the middle of the play. And at intermission, we went to use the restroom and when we returned one of them had her shoes up and her feet up on the seat. Excuse me, you are not in your living room, get some class.

Not Pictured

1. Anyone who wears spandex past the age of 7 outside of the gym. And some people who wear it at the gym.

2. Everyone who was at the Denver and Phoenix Airports on June 7, 2009.

3. The guy in the Fry's parking lot who was carrying his baby into the store, walking very slowly in the middle of the road even when he noticed that there was a car coming.

This Is Not Coffee!!!

Anyone who uses Farmers Brothers coffee should punched in the face multiple times! Seriously - you may as well just heat up your water and add a little brown food coloring, because that is essentially what this is!

And Things?

Alright, this picture was submitted by a friend. Let's just break this down really quickly, starting from the top of the sign, moving left to right.

1. Pete's Place is in Greek font, so we are assuming that perhaps we will find Greek food inside?
2. Eggs? I am sure the Greeks eat eggs, but I don't think that it is their specialty.
3. WTF is in that martini glass? And why a martini glass? I didn't think martinis were a breakfast drink and eggs are definitely breakfast food. I would have gone with a mimosa or perhaps a Bloody Mary...
4. Oh, wait - burgers? I get it - maybe eggs for breakfast, burgers for lunch?
5. The KICKER: & things??? There should never be such a general statement on a restaurant's tag line, but if it is necessary "and more" is probably the best choice. Things? Do you even know what that conjures up in my mind??

Perhaps there is a reason the parking lot is empty, but the sign says "OPEN."

I almost forgot - in case you are in a hurry - Pete will serve your eggs and martinis through his drive-thru. Wait - how does that work if the handicap parking is in the way?



Nevermind all of this - I have come to the conclusion that Pete is using this place to wash his mafia drug money. That gives "things" a whole new meaning...

The Bride Wore Fatbabies?

Just in case you can't tell what is going on in this picture - this is a woman on her wedding day. In a dress that doesn't cover her shoes. Which are bright blue Fatbabies. There is nothing that I can say to make this better. But the real question is - Can you see through this dress? Did the show become X-rated another 3 inches up?

Anybody Wanna Polka?

Word on the street is that this guy knows how to play over 4000 songs on the accordion. He deserves a punch in the face for wasting so much time learning that.

Also, the couple who hired him to be the entertainment at their wedding should be punched in the face! Really? Four hours of accordion music isn't even enjoyable for Germans. It's no wonder they drink so much!

Another Sticker...And A Grammar Problem

For the record, this sticker says, "Your Behind."

Unless this guy is trying to tell me that the back window of his truck is actually my butt, he needs a punch in the face! It is one thing to have a ridiculous sticker made for your vehicle. It is quite another to use improper grammar when doing it.

Which reminds me of a sticker that is on a lifted truck that drives around my town. It says, "No Its Not My Boyfriends." I'm actually beginning to think that our local sticker maker was trying to save money and he bought the system without punctuation.

A Hooker? Or A High School Senior?

I was unable to get a picture to help you visualize this, but take my word for it, all of the parents of Sacramento high school students who had their proms on May 2, 2009, need to be punched in the face!

These girls were wearing dresses better suited for the streets of Las Vegas. I was appalled!

On A Leash...

Oh, yes, that's a cat on the end of that leash. I almost died when I saw this!!! I used to think that putting a kid on a leash was the worst thing you could do. This woman has proved me wrong!

Another Sticker...

After showing this to Diddy, he said, "You really hate stickers, don't you?" And the truth is, I do! A LOT!! I don't mind the occasional political bumper sticker, alumni sticker, BEEF It's What's For Dinner sticker, but let's draw the line somwhere. And let's do it far higher than the above sticker. (If you can't read it, it says, "Not Just Boys Drive Bad Ass Toys."

Sadly, No Picture

I have not been able to capture this on film, but people who allow their children to play handheld video games during dinner should be punched in the face! They are going to create an anti-social child who doesn't know how to communicate about simple things such as the day's activities. It disgusts me!

Backwards?

The person who made this sign. And the person who allowed them to take it on stage on put it on this stand. Come on!

Really?

As if it needs an explanation - but anyone who buys food from this guy's van needs to be punched in the face!

Get Out Of The Zone!

The look on his face is because the Cats are getting KILLED in the zone defense that he won't take them out of! Seriously, get out of the EFFING zone - they are shooting threes like it's their job!

The Inspiration

On my way to pick up a rental car a couple of weeks ago, SuperFan and I were behind this truck on the road. Upon seeing this sticker, I was inspired to write this blog.



Seriously, if you have to put the sticker on your car, there are problems that a counselor can't fix.