If you need me to tell you what is wrong with this picture, there is no hope for you. I will do it anyway, but I hope you're only reading for entertainment, and not information.
Sir, you are going bald. Growing what hair you do have long, does not make up for the fact that you have none on top. And, in other news, the rat tail braid went out when I was in fourth grade. Actually, it wasn't even cool then, and was really only paired with Raiders gear in my home town.